Sharkboy's Rules
by lorann
Summary: A list of rules for sharkboy that he was forced to sign. Its really random but somewhat possibly funny. Lava, Max, and Mr. E rules up now R
1. Sharkboy's rules

Sharkboy's Rules

One: I must never go to the real world again.

Two: Just so people will think I'm cool.

Three: I am not cool.

Four: I am a fish.

Five: SHARKS ARE NOT FISH!

Six: I must not yell in the rules.

Seven: I must not go into shark frenzies when La-La's bother me.

Eight: La-la's are nice.

Nine: Even if I don't think they are.

Ten: I must pronounce my love for Lavagirl.

Eleven: Even if she doesn't feel the same way.

Twelve: I must not get angry if she doesn't feel the same way.

Thirteen: I must not harm Max for being an idiot.

Fourteen: Even if he is one.

Fifteen: I must erase number 14.

Sixteen: I must not gel my hair for a week because I did not erase number 14.

Seventeen: I must not get angry because of the above rule.

Eighteen: I must not say that Mr. Positive is gay and that I like Linus better.

Nineteen: Even if he is cooler.

Twenty: I must not make fun of Mr. Electric's left over body.

Twenty-One: I must not run around and scream 'I'm King of the Ocean bitches!'

Twenty-Two: Even though I am.

Twenty-Three: I must never say 'bitches'.

Twenty-Four: I must not gel my hair for another week because I said bitches twice.

Twenty-Five: Three times.

Twenty-Six: I must delete 25 because it isn't a rule.

Twenty-Seven: I must not gel my hair for a month because I didn't delete 25.

Twenty-Eight: I must not cry at this.

Twenty-Nine: I must not throw tempter tantrums because Max has more power then me. (Does not!)

Thirty: I must not add stupid comments or questions at the end of a rule.

Thirty-One: Why?

Thirty-Two: I must not use a rule to ask a question.

Thirty-Three: I must not ask why.

Thirty-Four: I must always be cute.

Thirty-Five: I must go to anger management.

Thirty-Six: I must not get angry because I have to go to anger management.

Thirty-Seven: I must not make Lavagirl angry just to see her hair flame.

Thirty-Eight: I must not laugh because her hair flames.

Thirty-Nine: I must not touch her hand just to burn myself.

Forty: I must not inflict pain on myself to make me feel better.

Forty-One: That is emo.

Forty-Two: I am not emo.

Forty-Three: Or Elmo, for that matter.

Forty-Four: I must not tell Lava that I am Tickle-Me-Elmo just so she will tickle me.

Forty-Five: I must not do above rule just so I can be burned.

Forty-Six: I must refer to rule number 40.

Forty-Seven: I must not ask what emo is.

Forty-Eight: I must stop talking about emo. (Don't you mean typing?)

Forty-Nine: I must refer to rule number 30.

Fifty: I must never tear these rules up just so I can continue to do them.

Fifty-One: I must always keep these rules with me.

Fifty-Two: Even if I don't want to.

Fifty-Three: I have to deal with it.

Fifty-Four: Because I am not God.

Fifty-Five: Or Jesus.

Fifty-Six: I am Sharkboy.

Fifty-Seven: See rule number 53.

**Signed, SharkyBoy.**


	2. Lavagirl's Rules

LavaGirl's Rules

I must always remain the queen of light.

I will never be Queen of the ocean, just because I love Sharkboy.

I must love Sharkboy.

If I love anyone else, I must not be the real Lava.

If I am not the real Lava, I will be severely punished.

I must not burn Sharkboy when I am angry with him.

No matter how funny the reaction.

I must take singing lessons.

I must stop being so dramatic.

I must stop burning the list for calling me dramatic.

I must never burn the list.

The list is God.

Unlike Sharkboy, who is not God.

No one is God but God.

And this list.

I must not look confused at the above 4 rules.

I must not say these rules are not real rules. (Well it's true.)

I must not add stupid comments or questions to the rules.

That wasn't stupid, I was just stating my opinion.

I must not use rules to state my opinion.

I must now stop saying deep and meaningful quotes for a week because I used a rule to state my opinion.

I must stop my hair from flaming as I read the list.

I must stop catching fire.

Fire is bad.

Lava is good.

But fire is bad.

I must pour water on my head because of the fire engulfing it.

I must not engulf my head with fire.

Stupid.

I must be stupid.

I must not harm Sharkboy because of the 'stupid' things he has written.

I must refer to rule number 6.

I must not shove Sharkboy away from the list so he will stop writing.

I must now apologize to Sharkboy.

Sharkboy is King of the Ocean, I am Queen of light.

We do not go well together.

Not physically.

But we do emotionally.

I must look at rule number 3.

I must not always get in the middle of drama.

I must not create drama so I can get in the middle of it.

I must not fight with the Ice Princess because Sharkboy said she was pretty.

She's not pretty.

I must delete number 43 and refer to rule number 20.

I must not roll my eyes at Sharkboy.

Even when he's being 'guy-ish'

AKA stupid.

I must not call Sharkboy stupid.

Dimwitted, maybe.

But not stupid.

He is not stupid.

He is a boy.

A very cute boy.

I must look at number 20 again.

I must stop breaking the rules.

The rules are God.

You already said that.

Do I have to make you look at 20 again?

Yes.

Shut up, I'm working.

You shut up, you stupid piece of paper.

I must not argue with the list.

I must not say the list started it.

The list is just paper.

Paper that controls your soul.

I must never destroy the list.

If the list is destroyed, so is my soul.

I must never destroy my soul.

Period.

I must stop giggling at the number 69.

I must not giggle at any number.

Unless Sharkboy is a number.

Then I can giggle at him

Because he's cute.

I must stop saying how cute Sharkboy is.

I must sign this damned list.

I must never say damned.

**Signed, Lavagirl.**


	3. Max's Rules

Max's Rules

**Rule one: **I must not tell people I am the DayDreamer.

Two: Just so I can get girls.

Thee: Girl's do not care that I am the DayDreamer.

Four: That is in a fictional world.

Five: This is the real world.

Six: I must not tell Sharkboy I am better then him.

Seven: Even if I am.

Eight: I cannot do rule number 6 just to watch Sharkboy get mad.

Nine: Even though he is funny when he is mad.

Ten: I must not fall in love with the Ice Princess.

Eleven: Or Marissa.

Twelve:. Her father is King.

Thirteen: In both worlds.

Fourteen: I must never forget about Planet Drool.

Fifteen: No matter how old I am.

Sixteen: I must find a way to help Shakrboy and Lavagirl be together.

Seventeen: I must stop going into long speeches to myself.

Eighteen: That makes me boring.

Nineteen: And selfish.

Twenty: I must never be selfish.

Twenty One: Or boring.

Twenty Two: I must never let Linus try and take over again.

Twenty Thee: Even if he is Mr. Positive.

Twenty Four: Mr. Positive is gay.

Twenty Five: I must not call Mr. Positive gay.

Twenty Six: I must never turn evil.

Twenty Seven: I will crash and burn.

Twenty Eight: I must stop being a goody-two-shoes.

Twenty Nine: Girl's do not dig that.

Thirty: Girl's do not dig anything about me.

Thrity One: Even if I will grow up to be really cute.

Thrity Two: This is the present.

Thirty Three: I must realize above rule.

Thirty Four: I must stop being socially inept.

Thrity Five: I must pass the 4th grade.

Thirty Six: I must get a new Dream Journal.

Thirty Seven: The one I have now is a little beat up.

Thirty Eight: I must not dream of heros better then SB and LG.

Thirty Nine: If I do, I will die.

Forty: I must never die.

Forty One: Even if I get hit by a beer truck.

Fourty Two: I must never drink beer.

Fourty Three: Ever.

Fourty Four: Even if there is peer pressure involved.

Fourty Five: Alcohol is bad

Fourty Six: I can never be bad.

Fourty Seven: I must see rule number 27.

Fourty Eight: I must make these rules funnier.

Fourty Nine: I must learn to be funnier.

Fifty: I must never eat sugar before I sleep.

Fifty One: I must never hurt Sharkboy physically.

Fifty Two: I will die.

Fifty Three: You already said I will die.

Fifty Four: I must go and read Lava's rules so I can learn about opinions in rules.

Fifty Five: I must stop and sign these rules.

Fifty Six: Because they are not funny.

Fifty Seven: I must learn to be funnier.

Fifty Eight: You already said that.

Fifty Nine: I must shut up now.

**Signed, Max **

**Max: unwillingly!**

**Soul-capturer/'Da List': I said stop**

**Max: Your mom**

**Da List: Sixty: I must never say 'your mom'**

**Max: No more rules!**

**Lava: Yeah!**

**Sharkboy: I'm king of the oceans, bi--OW!**

**Lava: Oops. Did i burn you?**

**Sharkboy: -smiles- I'm Tickle-Me Elmo!**

**Max: I'm better then Sharkboy!! Hahaha...ow!**

**Da List: No! You are all braeking the rules!**

**Lava: Screw you! -tries to burn Da List(s)-**

**Da List: Your soul shall suffer!**

**Sharkboy: Your mom!**

**Max: Ahahahhaa...**

**Da List: Idiots...why do i even bother?**


	4. Mr Electric's Rules

**Mr. Electric's Rules**

_Holy. Electric. Shock._

* * *

One: I must never try and take over Planet Drool again. Obviously. 

Two: I really need to come up with _punny-ier_ jokes.

Three: After that last one, I need to stop completely.

Four: I will not make anymore pun-jokes about electricity.

Five: No one gets them.

Six: I must explain why my voice keeps popping up as random characters in the movie.

Seven: I must get a smaller head.

Eight: The one I have now frightens young children.

Nine: Even though that's the point.

Ten: Plug hounds are a no-go, you hoe.

Eleven: I may not say "hoe" in the rules, even though I'm a fully grown….thing.

Twelve: I must figure out what I am.

Thirteen: I must learn to stand up for myself, because working for a ten year old is sad.

Fourteen: Maybe I could find a nice electric-woman and have little sixty watt-children.

Fifteen: At least they'd be sparky.

Sixteen: I should learn to control my electrical anger.

Seventeen: I should consider joining Sharkboy for anger management classes.

Eighteen: We could be anger buddies and beat each other with foam bats.

Nineteen: Actually, no.

Twenty: I must never beat children.

Twenty-One: With anything.

Twenty-Two: That's kind of considered wrong in the real world.

Twenty-Three: Wrong and…kinky.

Twenty-Four: I must never be kinky towards children.

Twenty-Five: I need to learn better songs, than crazy frog.

Twenty-Six: That's a little creepy.

Twenty-Seven: I must not be creepy.

Twenty-Eight: At least, not from this point on.

Twenty-Nine: My past will not be considered.

Thirty: Nor will the fact of my previous child molestation records.

Thirty-One: I just need to go back and be the God damned electrician of the planet.

Thirty-Two: I must not say God damned anymore.

Thirty-Three: Even though I'm an adult…thing.

Thirty-Four: I must refer to rule number twelve.

Thirty-Five: I may not enter the real world again to destroy it.

Thirty-Six: I will never prosper with his goal.

Thirty-Seven: After all, I was created by a ten year old.

Thirty-Eight: I must realize my life is a children's movie, and I'll never win anything.

Thirty-Nine: Mainly because I have a very round head and little electric limbs.

Forty: And not in a flattering way.

Forty-One: I must explain to little children how an electric…thing (see twelve) gets gas.

Forty-Two: I must also explain above rule to the list.

Forty-Three: I must not question who writes the list.

Forty-Four: The list is God.

Forty-Five: Unlike Sharkboy.

Forty-Six: I, also, must refer to Lavagirl's list to understand this.

Forty-Seven: I really need to get over my fear of sharks.

Forty-Eight: And I must not say that king of the ocean kid frightens me.

Forty-Nine: The fact that he has an eight-pack means nothing.

Fifty: It just makes him so much sexier

Fifty-One: I must not call Sharkboy sexy.

Fifty-Two: Or anyone, for that matter.

Fifty-Three: I must see rule twenty-six.

Fifty-Four: I must sign this stupid list that accused me of being a freak-o.

Fifty-Five: I must not call the list stupid.

Fifty-Six: And I just proved I was a freak-o for _saying_ the word freak-o.

Fifty-Seven: Thrice.

**(Unwillingly) Signed,**

**Mr. Electric.**

**Sharkboy: I hate these lists...**

**Lavagirl: I know! They are so limiting...and...and you haven't gelled your hair in a month and it looks _normal_! It's just so wrong...**

**Max: Erm...well, maybe we should conspire.**

**Mr. Electric: Shocking, Max.**

**Max: ...Why?**

**Mr. E: I just really wanted to make a pun.**

**Sharkboy: Yeah. Anyways. Conspire?**

**Max: Yeah! Plot against the evil list...**

**Linus: No fair! I haven't gotten my rules made yet!**

**Lava: Oh shut up. You're Mr. Positive now.**

**SB: GAY! -laughs hysterically- I'm tickle me Elmo!**

**Lava: Really??**

**Da List: NO! You are all breaking the rules!!**

**Linus: Not me!**

**Da List: Except him. But he's cool because he has the same first two letters in his name as me...**

**Max: -mutters- Girls totally dig the DayDreamer.**

**SB: CONSPIRE! Wait, is that word?**

**Da List: Oh, how I loath them...I wish death upon you all!**

**Mr. E: Watt??**

**SB: -punches Mr. E- Jackass.**


End file.
